The Antagonist International Magazine for Supervillains

Things I Selfishly Hope Happen In the United States While I'm in the UK Studying Creative Writing by Graham Issac

-Dollar continues to weaken, rendering pounds earned at minimal-paying job in UK a veritable fortune upon my return

-Inevitable, but shortlived ska-revival and accompanying goofy pants

-Changing of international education standards, thereby weakening the strength of a degree earned in a U.S. school vs. a U.K. school, rendering my 1 U.K. MA the equivalent of 3 U.S. PHDs. Job offer heaven!

-Writer's strike continues until my return; I can resume watching The Office with minimal catch-up

-No, seriously though: "Doctor Graham." Hey, lay-dees!

-Wrath of God

-A long, frustrating election campaign with ultimately disappointing results (likely connected to previous item on list

Things That Will Probably Actually Happen In the United States While I'm in the UK Studying Creative Writing

-Dollar shoots through roof to all time high; all my favourite bars and record stores are purchased and turned into stores selling imported perfumes

-U.S. gets into the Arctic Monkeys coinciding with my return; providing no escape

-Summer '08 declared Best Summer Ever, showers of happiness fall from sky and everyone is awarded a free puppy

-Anti-terrorism laws expanded to education system; anyone with out-of-country degree must re-take GREs or be stripped of their title

-General Indifference of God

-A long, frustrating election campaign with ultimately disappointing results (likely connected to previous item on list)